No. It's not what you may be thinking. Haven't relocated to a different set of four walls dedicated to Sunday morning worship services.
My absence from blogland hasn't been lonely. I have been absent from other parts of my life, too, including attending Sunday morning services. All this since I have begun my new job, coincidentally at the same time our former pastor resigned from our church. That in itself is not the reason, just happen to have some crazy timing.
I have been feeling more and more inspired to write a post about what has been going on in this here corner of the world, and tonight is the night. I have a long list of chores/duties ahead of me, but this has been bubbling up inside of me and I need to let it out.
My new church is the world in which I live. It has always been that way, to a point, but now, since I have a job, I have a new perspective on it. Please, if you are reading this, I am not trying to sound pious, sinless, or anything. I am making my way through this world, one step at a time, stumbling, coasting, soaring, tripping, just like everyone else. This post is to share what I have been experiencing since I have joined the workforce.
I haven't worked since 1998, at a paid job where I am away from the house. Raising my 3 kiddos till they began school - that was the single most wonderful thing that I ever dedicated my time to.
Now that I am working a full time job, early to bed, early to rise, I have a different perspective on the week. Evenings are hectic. I arrive home to collapse on the couch for 45 minutes or so, or until it's time to cook dinner. I cook, do any tidying that needs to be done, serve dinner, and then wash dishes (or Honey does, or sometimes the kids). Anyways, by the time all that is over, it's time for making our lunches for the next day, ironing, setting out clothes, signing agendas, so on and so forth. Then, tuck in the kids, say prayers, and collapse in my own bed.
Saturday mornings, we get up, do some cleaning around the house, inside and out, and get ready for some T-Ball, cheer the boy as he gives it his best shot, visit with Grandpa, eat somewhere in between all that. Come home, finish cleaning then collapse.
Sunday mornings, we have been sleeping in, staying in our jammies, having nice big family breakfasts (usually something really special) and hanging out. We play chess, bananagrams, Wii, we talk, joke, watch movies, whatever. But we do it together. Since we have no place to go, we are in no hurry, and we enjoy each other so much more than we ever did before! We are all functioning together as a family unit, we are all much more relaxed, and we laugh and smile all day long. It is bliss. And you know what? God is as present in our lives, our home on a Sunday morning as He is in church amongst great numbers of believers.
In certain ways, I sort of feel bad that this has taken precedence over attending Sunday services. I almost feel a social obligation to gather up the family and go. But in other ways, I feel so free and blessed to take this time and be in love with my family with no obligations.
I know that there are so many (I once felt this way, until quite recently) that say we should attend services, to spend time among other believers, worshipping, singing songs of praise, listening to sermons that help us to learn and grow. Well, I spend time with other believers, in a much more connected and intimate atmosphere, every single day. I sing songs of praise when I arrive at school during the most breathtaking sunrises you can imagine. I thank God every moment for the blessings of hundreds of precious children whose lives I intentionally bring love into (and whose lives enrich mine to no end), whether they need it or not. I worship God by giving extra love and affection to little ones who show up to school angry and wild and tired and excited. I gaze into the eyes of my little special needs babies and thank God for how they will always be so innocent, so normal compared to the rest of us. I walk through the halls, looking for downcast eyes so I can tell them how beautiful, how precious and wonderful they are, to bring a smile to a sad face. I put every bit of myself into everything I do. I have never felt more fulfilled, more content, more spirit filled, than I have in the last several weeks.
I miss a lot of my friends that I used to only see on Sunday mornings. However, the ones that I was closest connected to, the ones who I consider to be my family, I still see, call, text, IM, on a very regular basis. I still have community. I still read, learn, research, listen.
The bible verse that I have been striving to live by is Romans 12:1-2 - " And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
Peace and love to you as you go about your weeks!
XOXOX
5 comments:
24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25
I like the freedom and joy you are experiencing. I would also like to share this verse and encourage your continued fellowship for the sake of growth. <3
you know Mel, i truly believe that you are following God right now. I think you will know where he wants you Sunday mornings...trust me He will let you know! He always does! this stuff is all a part of the journey, and i think it is great that you are addressing the change personally and not just following the way of the world.
love you tons!
I just need to let you know that I totally get it. We spent the summer being together in our jammies on Sunday mornings and it was bliss, and we did not forget our faith, and it was very important as family bonding time. Now that Sunday School is back in session and we have to go since it's Catechism class, you know, the youngest has to complete it to get her steps done if she ever wants to get married in a Catholic church, etc... so we do go when classes are in session.. but otherwise we do stay home and appreciate that "rare gem" which is the whole family able to spend precious time together while the kids are still kids. And we do keep in touch with folks from church, and we do discuss right and wrong and bible lessons and what's important in life, even if we're not there on Sunday morning each and every time. And I'm sure that God does not hold it against us. So yeah.. I understand and I get it. Completely.
Not only do I understand, I agree. Programmed and institutional church has taken a back seat to a more organic and intimate relationship with Jesus and others. I am still searching for God's Kingdom interests in my life and my world and wonder what that looks like. Like Amy said, God will lead if we let Him. Thanks for the post, Melanie. It brings both joy and challenge to my life.
You know what? WE are the church. It's not a building. When we leave the building, we take the church with us. In my Bible study group we're reading a book called "Monday Morning Church" by Jerry Cook. It's amazing.
You're working full time and you have a home and kids to take care of as well. You are managing two full-time jobs. Your mission field is your family right now. I applaud you for staying home with them.
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